A New Chapter

You know you are socially awkward when you are looking up “how to not be socially awkward” while you are in a group of people.

I really wish I could mountain bike…
And then my mom makes the lovely comment. “Yeah you never really follow through with anything do you?”

Uh yeah… You know what? I haven’t had everything handed to me like my brother…

Going to college?
I struggle to make payments have to drop classes because of my job.
My brother? Getting a full ride through my family.

Wanted to mountain bike for the past two years.. Can’t afford a bike because I have bills to pay to live on my own.
Brother? Brings it up once has a 1500 dollar bike that he doesn’t even use.

I struggle to do a lot because no one ever even offered help… Like even a hey you can do it! I am always looked down on because I have a mental illness, I can’t work out because of my back. I can’t do anything with my lack of support.

Emmy

I ended up freaking out on him… :( I am willing to help if there is honesty being exchanged. But don’t tell me you love me and care for me if you just want to get better to piece your ex and son back together with you.

Which I don’t mind. If you want to fix your family that’s great, but don’t lie to me about how you feel, I will still help you.

I fear my heart longs for you more than it should. But I am going to shut that shit down right now. I need to be numb.